Life is interesting. I am a strong believer in being thankful for what God gives you. Admittedly so, sometimes it takes me a couple of days to come to this realization, but nevertheless eventually the virtue takes hold.

Tuesday was a first for me as a city council member. I was one of the main topics of an individual’s public comment period. Sitting there and listening to your name be repeated several times with respect to some strong charges, is never fun, but it does come with the territory. During my campaign, many times I was asked if I was “ready” and “was my skin thick enough” for politics. Now, I understand. This morning The Union published a story in regard to the allegations, it can be found here.

One thing I refuse to let go of is me. Over the last couple of days I have heard a range of different comments, some who choose to say mean spirited remarks and others who offer words of encouragement. At the end of the day, I am who I am and the person I am is thankful for former City Councilmember Steve Enos. I am thankful of his public acknowledgement of my not having ill intent. As a community we should be thankful to have individuals such as himself to look out for us. He has a passion for Grass Valley and a strong conviction of the process. I am honored to be on his radar.

The process is a wonderful tool we have to keep one another accountable. Accountability is never a bad thing and if properly digested can be a useful instrument of serving a greater good.

Today, I turned 32 years old. A birthday for me is a very reflective event, one of great milestones and hopefully a greater understanding of the world around me. Usually, I would have a list of goals to accomplish, but this year…I just don’t know. I am still not sure what to do with this year yet. 2009 was a complete mess for me. My husband took a job in the Bay Area (he was laid off in the middle of 2008) and we decided to try to short sell our home for nine months of last year. In the latter half of 2009, I lost my job. In December, our short sell was not approved by the bank and our home was foreclosed on. I have a million things to be grateful for. My family and I are healthy; we have a nice place to live, food on the table and an amazing support system.

As an elected official, however, it bothers me. I do not want to be the young person who made a HUGE financial mistake. I do not want to be the one which people look at and feel sorry for or worse…feel that I am not cut out for the position I was elected to. I just want it to go away, but this is my current reality and honestly it sucks! Whether you are in the public eye or not, being real can be painful, cumbersome and messy…but it is the only way to be.

Recently, I watched a portion of the 2009 Women’s Conference where Robin Roberts (ABC News anchorwoman) shared a story regarding her mother. Robert’s mother always told her it was important to make her mess her message. As the first blog entry of the beginning of my new age I want to be completely candid and share my mess with the hope of creating my message. I am learning that perfection is only perfect if you are perfectly yourself…inadequacies and all.